Stop Toxic Messaging

Simple controlled messaging for couples dealing with separation


Instant messaging can be a nightmare for separating couples

The anger, conflict and mood swings can bring out the worst in all of us.
But you can’t just block each other – there’s still the need to communicate, make arrangements, resolve issues.
1 message was designed to help.  Here’s what you do:
  • Create a 1 message account
  • Block each other on all your various messaging apps
  • And relax.  If one of you needs to message the other just type your message into 1 message

How does 1 message make things better?

1 message only allows each of you to send 1 message at a time, and it forces the message to be short and to the point.

It’s that simple.

By removing the ability for either of you to fire off long ranting messages, or lots of short nasty messages, 1 message lets you take back control of your lives from being overwhelmed by the continual maddening ping of instant messages from your ex.

Simple but brilliant

When you create your account you’ll both be emailed your own personal 1 message link. This is your new messaging app just for the two of you. Use this link to view or send a new message.

When your ex wants to send you a message its length is limited, so they have to make their message short and to the point. Once they hit send we’ll email you a notification that there is a new message waiting. This is where the 1 message magic lies – it’s up to you when you choose to read their message. They can only send you 1 short message at a time. They can change it, or even delete it if they want, but they can’t force you to read it until you are ready.

The same rule applies for both of you. 1 message. You each choose when you will read it.

If things are going well between you, you may choose to read it quite quickly. If messaging is currently a problem, you may choose to leave it a few hours. Once the message has been read they can send another of course, but each time only 1 short message can be waiting to be read by the other.

“Following the breakdown of our marriage the ability of my ex to interrupt me any time day or night with instant message notifications was seriously wearing me down to the point of despair.  We needed to message each other to make arrangements to look after our children, but the ability to message anything allowed things to be made so much worse.  Finding 1 message instantly changed things, brought control back, lessened the conflict and let the process of us both healing begin”

—Alex Fielding


Common Questions

Where do I need to block my ex?

Messaging apps will all let you block another user. Most phones will let you block an individual contact, so you can stop text messages being received from the other person. Most email applications will let you block a specific email address, or let you add a filter to move messages from an email address straight to the bin, effectively blocking them.

What if I need to contact my ex in an emergency?

Using 1 message doesn’t stop you contacting the other in an emergency as all either of you need to do is call or message a friend to pass on an instant message or make a call for you. You can also temporarily remove the block of your ex on your own phone at any time if you want them to be able to instant message you in a situation that needs it. Just turn the block back on once you’re done and want the 1 message protection again.

What if I want to still call my ex?

You may still want the ability to be able call each other and talk on the phone. A simple way to avoid blocking this is to create another contact for your ex on your phone.

In one contact have their email address and mobile phone number – this is the contact you block on your mobile phone.

In the other contact have their landline number – this contact you don’t block so you can make and receive calls to their landline.

Landlines can’t sent you text messages (well for most people they can’t) so this avoids blocking the ability to talk to your ex completely.

Alternatively of course, you can simply send a 1 message to your ex and ask them to temporarily remove their block when they are ready to have a phone conversation with you.

Can I try it for free?

Sure, use 1 message without restriction for 5 days before we ask for your card details